Thursday, February 24, 2011

They're Back, THE HANGOVER: PART 2 Teaser Trailer

As we've seen and heard from all the rumors in cast changes, bizarre photo shoots, and possible cameos. The Wolf Pack is back in The Hangover: Part 2.

Not much to really say in the sense of what the hell happened again. But its worth checking out the dynamic comedic tripod as they are now joined by siamang monkey and a face tattoo that only Mike T. could love in Thailand. As things look to get dirtier, grittier, and balls out crazier for the gang, this summer.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011


Listen up all you Splatter Punks!

After cleaning up the streets of 'near' future Detroit for 3 movies, a TV series, a Saturday Morning cartoon, possible reboots, and endless graphic novel spin offs. Officer Alex "Robocop" Murphy will be honored with a 7 Foot iron cast statue by Casey V. Westbrook and company to be placed in Motor City.

Thanks to a huge donation by Peter Hottlete of Omni Consumers Products Corporations (yes! they do exist) and 1700 other anonymous donors were able to make the 50,000 dollar goal, a reality this past week

All of this wouldn't of been possible to honor the real steel officer, if Dave Bing, Detroit's current major didn't harshly dismiss a twitter comment on a possible statue. The city politics of Detroit are always attacking Murphy and his system of future justice but now the people have spoken.

You hear that Mister Mayor, you can now call him "ROBOCOP."

Now give this man, the key to the city.

Monday, February 21, 2011


With EXIT THROUGH THE GIFT SHOP, a front runner for Best Documentary at OSCARS '11, the elusive and madly brilliant guerrilla artist Banksy wants to take the sluggish awards ceremony by storm.

But that golden plated old man doesn't want any of those whipper snapper shenanigans at this year's ceremony. As the plan originally was, if Exit wins the Oscar, 5 people wearing the Banksy signature monkey mask a la V for Vendetta, would approach the stage asking for the award.

Rumor tag-line would be, "Giving me that motherfucking Oscar."

The award ceremony coordinators will not let this happen due their fear of infamous "gatecrashers" or fellow Movie Hoppers like yours truly- I promise most of us who are coordinated enough to break into coveted Oscars are harmless and we're only there to show that shouldn't be a praise of bourgeois material like The King Speech.

Like the Defacto South of the past, the awards ceremony are afraid of change or somebody fucking with system but if they keep being resistant to ideas like Banksy, they'll just keep getting lower ratings and weak ass hosts. (No disrespect to this year's host Franco and Hathaway but they are no Billy Crystal.)

But on a Banksy note, this could be all hype for something quite extraordinary in taking down the red carpet this year. Just wait and see what the attack artist will bring this Sunday, if anything.

Friday, February 18, 2011

SHANE Mother F@!KIN' BLACK Directing "Iron Man 3"

Looks like Martin Riggs and Roger Murtaugh are back in Lethal Weapon 5--but it looks like Mel "SS Officer" Gibson and Danny "Stop that Cab" Glover are now really too old for this shit. So they've hired Robert Downey Jr as crazy but lovable Riggs and Don Cheadle as the curmudgeon but commendable Murtaugh, to get the black and white buddy action comedy job done. I wonder if Joe Pesci will show up as wisecracking gangster Leo Getz again?

Oh wait, Shane Black has been hired to direct, Iron Man 3 with Downey Jr and Cheadle. As much as I praise the action comedy veins that pulsate in Black's veins. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is one of the best buddy action comedies ever made. This will be interesting as it will be his first big budget helmer, 2nd directional job, doesn't have Joel Silver as a producer, a superhero movie, and the first franchise to be coming into the job- Black wrote only the first two Weapon scripts and rest of his career has been based off of original and highly lucrative screenplays.

Also I don't know what to think of a Shane Black movie without cynical bloody violence, four letter words, and the occasional boob or sexy sex scene. :( As this will be the first PG-13 movie for Black since The Monster Squad (1987)

Stay At Home, The Multplex Sucks

With this weekend is another horrible time at the box office. As prices increase and quality decreases with I AM NUMBER FOUR, UNKNOWN, and Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son.

Oh the humanity!

Would anyone in their right mind really pay $16.50 to see Big Mamma 3 at the Archlight or $18.50 Imax screening of I AM NUMBER FOUR at Universal City-walk on a Saturday night?

Minimum wage is $8.00 an hour in California, it would take more 2 hours in flipping burgers, pumping gas, or dancing with a sign on a street corner at Hollywood & Vine to pay to see those movies.

To spare you- the poor college and the cinephile both- I give you 3 modern classic alternative viewing to this weekend at the Multiplex.

Nothing to Lose (1997)

Before Martin Lawrence was a latex B-version of
Eddie Murphy movies. Lawrence was one of the best four-letter runaway train comics out there. Talking Dirty After Dark, You-So-Crazy, the Bad Boy movies, and the great Fox sitcom "Martin", for all of your post "In Living Color" needs.

As Terrence Davidson (Lawrence) the would be carjacker of Nick Beam (Tim Robbins), a white collar businessman, who is on the verge of nervous breakdown takes Lawrence hostage on a road trip to comedy hell. Failed gas station shoot outs, corporate heist, and other comedic hi-jinx ensue but the performance are where the movie is at.

Nothing to Lose proved, he can go outside of the stand-up one-liners and Michael Bay eye-candy box. Also showing Robbins, the more serious thespian as funny and soulful actor.

This performance predates Robbins hilarious cameo turns in High Fidelity and Anchorman.

A rare 90s comedy classic, writer/director Steve Oedenkirk only departure from sight gig world of Ace Ventura and Thumb Wars. Here with Lawrence and Robbins, a black and white buddy comedy that gives us not only a lot character driven laughs but a lot of heart too.

Frantic (1988)

We all know Liam Neeson can kick some serious European villain ass with last year's action fest Taken. So why do we need to see the same damn movie again with Unknown?

Check out Harrison Ford and Roman Polanski in this 80s tribute to Alfred Hitchcock and European espionage. As Ford tries to track down his missing wife in Paris and leads him to the underbelly of the city of lights.

A bit more slow paced compared to the current action driven thrillers of today. Yet it offers another amazing everyday man performance from Ford and Polanski's siginture dark alley ways and carnal violence. A rooftop chase heightens the quality of this little seen thrill ride.

The Salton Sea (2002)

One of the last of the great Val Kilmer performances and the only film worth mentioning on director DJ Cursoe's career in this jazz fusion turned meth drug comedy turn police thriller.

Kilmer playing dual roles of foreboding jazz musician Danny Parker and tweeker Tom Van Allan, gives it his flawless touch of cool and levity around the crazed performance from a cast that includes Vincent D' Onofrio, Adam Goldberg, Danny Trejo, Anthony LaPaglia, Glenn Plummer, and a very young Peter Sarsgard.

From a JFK assassination recreation with pigeons, stealing Bob Hope's stool, eating human brains, a plastic nosed kingpin, and the musical motif of Lou Reed's "Take a Walk on the Wild side." This one ride to take on if haven't already.

With all of it's crazy and at times ironic violence, the film pull together coolly haunting neo-noir.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Hell Up In Harlem

"If never get to Heaven, make sure you raise some hell up in Harlem"

The ultimate blaxpostation sequel from Larry Cohen and Fred 'Hammer' Williamson. A crew so badass busy they made this classic on the weekend.

Plus the rejected score by James Brown become one of his most iconic ablums, "The Payback"

Herzog In 3D

Check out this April, the one and only Werner Herzog as he and special crew explore Southern Caves of France in 3D.

Excepect the Zog to ask the questions about life in a 3D world.

Did I forget to mention this is a History Channel in 3D.

Holy Shit this documentary is in 3D.